MijaSol

Santos Cruz...Give me some sugar in Galveston

2005-12-11T20:02:00.000-08:00

A lot of people know Santos Cruz as a bartender. As legend has it, he may be the creator of the margarita for Peggy Lee. But that’s another story you can “google.”

Here’s how I know him. I’m his first grandchild. He rescued me from my daddy. And one time he even stole me from my mama. He stole me cause he loved me and thought I deserved better than the baby sitter I was with that day.

He bought me my first cane pole that enabled my first “big” catch on the piers of Galveston Island. The three of us, Grandpa Grandma and I did have some good times.

He gave me my first sugary sip of coffee. I think he may have also given me my first pastry from Texas Star Bakery. To this day, nothing has compared.

The best was Sundays when we’d go to his club “the Moulin Rouge.” I felt so small in that place. But it made me feel important to go to his club. He’d straighten the bar; I’d clean ashtrays and look for change left behind by the patrons. When we were done with our chores, he always made me a Shirley Temple with lots of maraschino cherries.

I had my first car wreck with him on a Sunday drive to a picnic. I only hurt my thumb. But what a wild ride – sliding around in that old car and watching grandma's potato salad fly in the air.

One day my mom stole me back, that was the first time I saw him angry. I swear I saw him cry.

My grandpa always made me feel special. When I’d enter a room he always seemed to announce my entrance, bellowing, “Athena Brown.” He’d demand that I come over and give him some sugar, which was a kiss on the cheek. I still don’t really know why he called me Athena Brown. It may have had to do something with my tan in the summer.

He was the only person to send me money when I was struggling in college.

He passed much on to me.
Oh man all those words of wisdom! >.<

Through his lessons...
He taught me to be a rebel
and at the same time to be respectful

He taught me to appreciate things...
Things like starched shirts and the quiet of the night
Big tables and great dinners with your family all around you...times so precious
The manners at that big table
A wad of one dollar bills that looks like hundreds

And not saying “yeah” and “um”

He made me angry on several occasions. But damn, I love Grandpa Santos Cruz. I wish he were here just one more day so I could tell him.

Good-bye Grandpa…I love you…I’m sorry I didn’t call you on Friday.

Danger Danger

2005-08-29T19:47:00.000-07:00

I'm working in a scene of Terry Gilliam's movie. Cubicles closing in with plastic wrap hanging from ceiling. Man-made fibers everywhere. Pictures to come

little surfer girl

2005-08-29T19:16:00.000-07:00

My oldest, a casual determined surfer girl entered her first contest this week.

Here is her itinerary:

WED. NIGHT
Load car with, food, tons of water, sleeping provisions and of course bike with surf racks and surfboard. SUNSCREEN GALORE!

THURSDAY
She checked in 7 am and was told her heat would be Friday.
She hung out at the beach, surfed all day.
Went back to the room, slept, went back to the beach, surfed went back home for the night, slept.

FRIDAY
Woke 6:45 am. Rode bike with surfboard, wrecked, put a ding in the board.
Checked in. Told her heat would be Saturday.
Surfed all day. Met "young hottie lifegaurd" Fell in love.
Surfed more. Went to her room. Slept. Went back to beach. Sat in lifegaurd stand with "young hottie lifegaurd"
Surfed more.

Had date with young pup.
Had Ice cream.

SATURDAY
Same morning schedule as last. Same story from ECSC officials. HEAT IS TOMORROW.
I already left for beach with T planning for all day surf event.
Arrive to disappointed daughter. But not too dissapointed, cause of the young pup lifegaurd.
It's cold, rainy and surf is choppy.
Daughter goes to sleep early.

SUNDAY
She over sleeps. Arrives 30 minutes late. MISSES HEAT...isn't allowed to compete...cries...then moves on...
to the surf and the life gaurd.

And there's another competition in September.

Sea lice were a form of amusement for the day. Watching young kids do the ichy butt dance. Oh and we got our entry fee back and even though she didn't compete, she still got a competitors shirt.

"T" got way too much sun and ate one too many puddings.

fucking pantyhose

2005-08-12T23:13:00.000-07:00

Corporate land and Nylons are cutting off my circulation! Sometimes under my pants, I roll down those pantyhose. Only I know they are below where they should be. It's my way of saying yeah, you only wish you had my attitude. And you can make me wear them, but you can't dictate how I wear them. Sometimes I roll em down like donuts. Sometimes I wear em so they are saggy at the ankles. Yeah, I can't do it when I wear dresses and skirts. But I love wearing pants and MULES! Mules...Hell yes... I wear them and I'm not supposed to. But they can't tell they are mules, when the pants are long enough to disguse them. I've spent mad money on comfortable shoes.

And the creative, certainly has a lot to be desired. But some how I've come this far. Everyday gets better than the last.
So much structure and still chaos rules. I know what is behind the uptight gray and blue suits. They are all probably pushing their meds to function and smile the fake smile.

I was suckered into the limelight, the hope of working somewhere where people care. Care about who? The people next to you or the people you don't even know? Am I the sucker, thinking I can make a difference. Believing I'm somewhere where people really do care. Or am I only there for the paycheck. Are they all lying, pretending to care, are they there for the paycheck? Guess it doesn't matter for now. I'm just dog paddling till it gets too unbearable to tread.

Besides the pantyhose, it is fun dressing up everyday. I only wish my husband was more understanding about the stress I am undergoing. He's such a nag.

4 more days and welcome to the family

2005-07-13T21:29:00.000-07:00

of RR...heading to corporate land. They sent me flowers today. A nice touch, welcoming me to their family.

Family...huh a crazy thing. We all have em...some are more fucked up than others but still they are family. Wonder what people really want to say, when they say, "we welcome you to our family."

Was just at a wedding. One of the most caotic weddings ever. The groom cried his eyes out. I think he was crying cause he new what was ahead of him. He was in, in it all the way up to his neck. He was swimming in sludge and if he ever made it out he'd never be the same kind heart that he was before he was married into "the family." My husband used to cry. He said, I stole all his tears, and he'd never cry again. Now the only thing that make him cry is "Extreme Home Makeover." My mom
told me not to marry him. Maybe she was just trying to save him from my f'd up family. God I do love em all though. I love our disfunction. And I love our wherewithall to always come together and let the animosities fall where they begin.

My brothers and I are a tough crew. We are all soft hearts sheathed in tarnished leather. In other words we are good people, but we've been through so much crap, it has made us hard and resilient.

Hm...my little brothers. I never forget when one of them almost died of Crohns. The doctors didn't know what was wrong with him. Guess his frailty seemed normal. I carried him to the car and I thought I'd never see him again. He was 13 and weighed about 30 lbs. He was rail skinny, concentration camp skinny. I was strong, holding back tears, carrying him and telling him I'd be along to see him at the hospital. I put him in the car, went in the house and cried.
That was when he was diagnosed and recovery began slowly.
He has had four close to death encounters. Two from Crohns, one a car accident, one a 50 foot tree that crashed on the truck he was sitting in. He's part kitty cat, rowr.

The other brother. He survived Fallujah this year. That will take another posting to talk about. I'm still having nightmares about that. One of my favorite movies is Saving Private Ryan. But I'll never watch it again. Not since I had a full length movie/dream of me searching for my brother in Fallujah.

social security

2005-07-11T19:34:00.000-07:00

About 6 months ago Alyssa was robbed. He pick pocketed her, wallet contained id, food service handlers card and social security card. We'll I'm trying to tie up loose ends before I start my new gig at the Bank. I doubt I'll have much free time to sit in DMV and the Social Security office after next monday, so I resolved to do it today. I geared my patience up and calm mentality. Sat in line for three hours, played musical chairs...only to be told, I had to have some sort of Identification for Alyssa to get the Social security card, a birth certificate aparently isn't good enough. I understand there is an epidemic of ID theft. I managed to keep my cool with the SS clerk. But when I went to Alyssa's work to get her school ID from her. Her attitude sent me off the deep end. I can't believe I sat there for three hours. And Alyssa couldn't take two minutes to think where her card may be.

She got home from work. Ran upstairs, got the card. And planned on going on a yacht while I sat in the social security line. HA...made her come with me. Made her go to DMV with me too. SO she could get a replacement ID. So that's taken care of. I swear Alyssa made me really angry today. Angrier than the line at the SS office.

The lady next to me in line, commented on the impatience factor of the people there today. I was patient when I was there but not when I left.

So if you plan to go to the Social Security office. There are some things you should do for your own sanity.

• Eat a good breakfast, and bring a beverage
• Go to the bathroom before you leave. Or as soon as you arrive to the location, use their facilities before you get in line.
• Bring a good book, or magazine
• Wear deodorant. Or perhaps something that smells good for under your nose. You will be sitting very close to people that may not be the freshest.

Documents are very important...in proving your identity
We can accept original or certified copies of documents to prove your identity. Examples of documents we can accept are:
Driver’s license; Passport; Employer ID card; School ID card; Marriage or divorce record; Health insurance card (not a Medicare card); Military ID card; Adoption record; or Life insurance policy.

Have fun!

beach

2005-07-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

Two days at the beach.

Almost every time we go to the beach, we say, "wow this is a really great beach day." Guess there are different levels of great. Somedays it's great because it is quiet and chill. One day it was because it was 70° on January 4th and we were walking with bare feet on the sand. It was the day before I started at Decipher.

Yesterday it was great because Alyssa caught waves like crazy. We were at Croatan Beach, a popular spot for locals.
The surfers are territorial. You either catch waves, surf or get the hell out of the water. So she knew she had to prove
to them she was serious. We arrived, she went straight away, paddled, turned around as she saw the approaching wave, paddled her all her might, caught the wave and rode it clean. Ellen and I saw her and like soccer mom's, cheered! It worked, she had the respect of the veteran surfers and locals only. This was her weekend. She finally felt like she knows what she's doing. Not just a pretty paddler but truely a longboarder surfer girl. :)

While Alyssa was surfing, a wave got me. I had my back turned to the Ocean. She got me, she got me good. I was hit and I flew with arms in the air, hard to the sand. I scooped up at least a quart of sand with my bathing suit as she dragged me to shore. I had a third conglomerate boob, sand, shells and rocks.

Yeah yesterday was good, today was even better. Water was glassy pale green. Waves swelled slowly like rolling hills. The temperature was perfect. Matilda and I stood in water to my shoulders. We would jump as the waves came. She kept saying to me, "did you go under the wave? I didn't." She also kept saying, "I feels so good mama." Must have been great because the water was so nice.

Tabatha said the beach today reminded her of a 1920's beach postcard. The ones with thousands of people. Funny how so many people in one spot can maintain civility in the goodness of family fun. We had a Bosnian family right next to us. They made really big sandwiches and pretty sandcastles.

There was the mullet rock couple. The lady had a horrible tattoo that look like a Rorschach ink blot. I think it was supposed to be a bird.

We had dinner tonight with Bex, Gary, Sam, Markus, Lily and Daisy.

JOB!!!! wooohoooo! I have skills!

2005-07-08T06:03:00.000-07:00

I got one! Yeah, got layed off a little over a week ago. The third layoffs at Decipher since January. Survived the cut two times. Then in the last one, I guess I wasn't part of the "fast track team" anymore. Having convictions is not something that keeps you in. Steroids prevailed! The tagline I fought, survived the cut. As soon as my seat was cold, they put the tagline on the display. LOL!

So my process was, everymorning work at home to market myself in the industry. It worked, after 1 1/2 weeks I have a job. It's a conservative one, I'll have to wear pantyhose and never show my little toesies. But hey, IT's STABLE!. I get off on all federal holidays, substantial yearly raises. WOOOHOOO! And I will work with some talented people. So here I go to corporate land once again. My husband is so relieved.

I start on the 18th, so I get one more week of chill time. I may do some projects around the house, maybe not.

Good times!

Have to go shopping and buy more shoes! I love shoes.

the island

2005-06-29T20:48:00.000-07:00

Friday, I was part of twelve more people voted off the Decipher Island. I always wondered how it would feel to be layed off. I never thought I'd feel relieved. I mentioned it to someone once. That I may feel like that. But it was good to be set free. It sucks to know my time with Aragorn and Boromir is over. I really did love manipulating their skintones and playing with the King of the Dead. Oh and then there is alway Shinzon, I told my husband that Shinzon was my boyfriend. He didn't seem to care. The days of fantasy land have come and gone. Bojo was right, it was a dream job. And now I may be setting sail for corporate reality. But before I do, I'm going to have some RR with my baby girls.
Life is short, time is precious and its fun when you just take it a day at a time. With my life the way it has been, the hard part is behind me. Nothing could ever compare to living with my step dad or being a single mom in college. Maybe that's another reason I'm so resilient? Who knows?

Today I also talked to my brother. He's coming in on friday. It will be the first time I've seen him since he left for Hawaii and Iraq. He's been back in Hawaii for a couple of months now. But when he get's off the plane, for me, it will be like he just got back from the war. I think I'll make him a welcome home sign. Maybe we'll do that tomorrow.

About islands, they are everywhere lately. Smith Island, Emerald Island, Decipher Island...

I wish I had been able to help the latter. It's like the 1900 storm of Galveston Island. They may rebuild, but will it ever
be the same.

Fighting

2005-06-17T18:14:00.000-07:00

Matilda got in a fight today. A classmate tried to take her phone. Matilda took it back. The classmate scratched Matilda, Matilda scratched her back. They cried, apologized and made up.

Child hood memories

2005-06-10T22:32:00.000-07:00

I had a english sheep dog. Monte. He had bangs.
I also had an imaginary friend. Hm...maybe that was Monte.

I had I yellow hot wheel. A hot stop and run gift from Abel.

My grandpa told me the other day that he missed me. He was thinking about when I used to live with him and my grandmother, Eulalia.

He said, "Athena I remember the day your grandma and I stole you from your mama. She was having drug problems. We went to see you, you were with the baby-sitter. The sitter was ignoring you, you were dirty in the highchair. We took you, and kept you for a couple of years. Then one day your mama wanted you back." He said, he threw my mom on the bed, and wouldn't let her take me. They fought over me, my mom won.

I only remember them pulling at me. And them crying and yelling. I was scared and crying too. I loved them both and didn't want them to be sad.

I think I was 5.

mermaids

2005-05-27T14:29:00.000-07:00

I have two daughters age 5 and 17. The older of the two, has always enjoyed the beach. She is golden like the sun. She surfs and cries on gray days just like her mom. The little one, pale white with jet black hair. They are both the sweetest children a mom could ask for in life. They both love the beach.

I couple of years ago I got a tattoo on my leg. A mermaid like you'd see on maps of ancient mariners. It represents my 17 year old, my mermaid.

One day at while we were at the beach, the little darky asked the mermaid. Is this where mom found you? So the story begins.

Alyssa and I were planning to take a kayak expedition for her birthday. Before we left, Alyssa told Matilda, "Matilda, I'm not coming back, I'm going to be with my mermaid family." Of course, Matilda cried and begged Alyssa to come back. I yelled at Alyssa for telling Matilda such a mean lie. Alyssa said, when Matilda started crying she felt horrible and told Matilda she was just playing and she would come home.

We went on our kayak trip. It was great. An hour and a half paddle to Smith Island. It's a barrier island to the Eastern Shore. It was pretty exciting landing on the white shell covered sand. We sat in warm pools of crystal clear water. Felt like a spa day on a desolate island. I don't remember seeing a salt haze before. I'm sure I've seen it when I lived in Galveston. But for some reason, when there's nothing else on the beach, but sand and salt it seems "mirage" like.

The paddle back was hard. We were toast with jelly arms. Alyssa says it was the best birthday ever. She says that every year.

When we got home, Matilda ran past me, to hug her. She was so happy to see her mermaid sister return from the ocean.